Hard Times

Life is hard sometimes. We may be working out butts off and moving up the latter only to fall off. Forced to start all over only to go back up. Some people stay stagnate and others actually do get back to where they were or better.

A few months ago I lost almost everything I had except for my brand new car (go figure), my life and my son. I'm still trying to go back up but this time will be different. This time I want to find happiness. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed what I did in the past by the company I worked for?!? Not so much.

It has been taking a lot out of me because of my pride. I've been told that things happen for a reason and I need to learn how to work with what I have. "Stop being a spoiled little brat" is the best one. I mean, I know I'm a spoiled brat but that's because I was able to spoil myself when I could. It made me happy. I guess, the reason I lost everything was to teach me an important lesson. Part of it is about finding happiness in something else. 

I have been known to say I have nothing and I'm not doing anything with my life but I now have a job, though it's not exactly something to be proud of, it gets the bills paid. Something I haven't been able to do myself in months. Being forced to ask for help was interesting, I must say. I still refuse lol. I have a very intelligent but annoying son lol. I have a roof over my head, though not mine. I have friends and family members that are supportive. I also have an loving boyfriend who was willing to help me to stay afloat financially. And no, I didn't accept. I did but when it came time for the bill to be due I was so happy to know that I would be able to pay it myself. Saved by the bell lmao. I did thank him and I really appreciated it. Though I was damn near forced to ask. Well I was forced but whatever. Oh, and I have a nice car. I love it. 

I guess that I can say that I am happy now. It's been tough. I've broken down multiple times. The worst was a few days ago. I'm still trying to come back from it. I am trying to remind myself that I will succeed no matter how much it seems like things are standing still. I have to learn that sometimes things workout slowly. Patience is a virtue. Buuuuuut, patience is something I just don't have lol. I'm trying to learn. I'll get it. 

I received a reply about a government job an hour ago. If I am able to obtain an security clearance I know that I'll knock out the interview with no problem. *fingers crosses*